Almost exactly a year ago I watched in unexplainable horror as a minivan rolled over my dog five feet in front of me. It is as though time stood still in those moments, it is as if I felt my will alone would stop the sorrowful proceeding events just by force of will in that moment. But I could not. I held my dog in my hands as her body stopped moving and her eyes went dark. It replays in my nightmares and the crushing guilt I felt for this past year never once lessened. It took me 11 months to print out a photo of her to place in a frame. It took me 11 months to start thinking maybe I could open my arms to another little fur baby.
My child has been relentless in the past 6 months for a baby, for which I do not have the luxury of a situation to be able to give him, but to be able to give him a furry “baby” companion, I can. Finally.
We all experience loss in our lives. I seem to have had an exponential amount in the past few years, in ways I never even imagined possible. The sorrow I have felt for these losses has cut me deeper than anything else in my life. But still I find the courage to be grateful for them. I do still toil with worries, but I am working so hard at continuing to move forward, to move towards my ultimate goal despite it all.
It is important to me that I took the time to grieve the loss of my last dog. To process, on every level, the amount of feeling it gave me.
But now. One year out. We are in the future. The loss is in the past, and I continue to push on. We have got a new fur baby. A sweet, small breed, fuzzy, cuddly mass of love that is currently snoozing on the kitchen floor. My child adores the new addition, and it shows us both that even though everything has an expiry date in this life, everything is also renewed in time.
Do not give up hope of a future better than could be imagined, despite all of the trials that are put forth in front of us. Keep going. Keep pushing and living every day as though you are indeed moving towards that goal that is the ultimate, most wonderful version of your life that you could ever imagine. And step by step, day by day, new experiences, puppies and loves will come flooding in. Some days may still seem hard, but push through those as well. And do the best that you can, however and wherever you can, with everyone you interact with. And I will try and do the same. With a puppy quietly gnawing on my toes.
With blessings and love xx
Learn more about my journey by reading The One Life Movement-and then pass it on to a friend.
New Beginnings
The One Life Movement 