Appearances

The funny thing about how things appear is that it is not necessarily reflective of reality. Many people seem happy when they are not, many people look sad when they are happy. Our society tries to tell us that if we have ticked off certain boxes, then we “should be” happy or fulfilled or in some other state of being. And for some that does hold true. For others it can be a crushing reality. 

The gentleman in the photo is a lovely man I met on Crete. He was travelling with one of his friends and had taken a shining to me. We took this photo, one with my camera and one with his as he wanted to let everyone know what a beautiful girlfriend he had made while on holiday in Greece. He was very kind and more than likely meant it as a joke more than anything. But still it struck me, to what end are we spending our lives trying to live up to the expectations of others? 

I struggled with this rather strongly for years. I felt it compelling me through each phase of my life until I just did not want to be pushed or cajoled any more. Yes I do like to know or think I am doing the best I can when I am at work, or in child rearing. But I am becoming less concerned with some of this as I am evolving. Because I have shifted my focus to my-self instead of seeking the approval of others, it has undoubtedly led me to a firmer understanding of what I am capable of, who I am and also of what I am not. I no longer feel compelled to be coupled or look a certain way or be the worlds most amazing anything. I am doing what I can, and it is enough. 

To this gentleman, wherever life finds you now, thank you for spending your time with me all those years ago. You are a lovely human being, and I am proud to have been called your girlfriend even if just for appearances.